Sexy Mamas talk Family, Sex and ME time
by Nadya Andreeva on February 23, 2012 9
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Sometimes at the end of a long busy day, with barely enough energy to get to bed, I ask myself how do women with kids go through their crazy busy days without losing their mind. Often I find myself unable to comprehend a relentless energy and commitment that many young mothers show. Some women lose themselves in their role of a “mother”. While taking care of their kids and husbands they stop taking care of themselves. Fortunately, there are some amazing women who manage to stay feminine, beautiful, and fashionable while being role-model moms. In search of a secret formula behind being a good mother, a sexy wife, and a fun girl friend – all at the same time, I interviewed 3 amazing women and mothers.
Rebekah “Bex” Borucki
Rebekah “Bex” Borucki is a mother-of-four, a fitness and yoga instructor, and an urban farming hobbyist raising backyard chickens and growing her own organic garden in a small urban space. Her popular lifestyle website BexLife.com reaches hundreds of thousands of followers every month through her personal blogs and hundreds of recipe, gardening, and fitness videos. Bex currently lives with her husband, four children, seven gossiping hens, one curious cat and a little turtle that could on her urban homestead in South Jersey, USA. Find on Youtube at http://youtube.com/genghisgirl
Lindsay Bliss is a mom in her early 30′s. She is super tall (6’1). Lindsay is a birth doula and mother to 6 kids. Including two sets of twins. She is married to her best friend Dan, who is a restaurateur in Brooklyn, NY (Lodge & Urban Rustic). Lindsay plans to go back to school and become a midwife once her new twin boys are a bit older. She loves practicing yoga when she has the time. Lindsay has more tattoos than she can count. She eats local and organic foods but has a weakness for DQ butterfinger blizzards. One day Lindsay would like to start hey own hippie commune but for now she lives in Queens NY. Her blog is www.beautifulmadhouse.com
Yulady Saluti never stops moving. She is a Yoga Alliance certified yoga instructor who has appeared in DVDs with Tara Stiles and Deepak Chopra, teaches at four different yoga studios, and is doing this all while maintaining a red-hot relationship with her husband, Jerry, and raising six kids. After battling and overcoming a serious medical condition, Yulady dove head first into a new, healthy life filled with yoga and studies in Ayurveda. She has since healed her mind and body through her practice and passes her love of yoga onto her devoted students and online followers every day of the week. You can find Yulady teaching in New Jersey at Powerflow Yoga (http://www.poeyoga.com/), Onyx Mind Body (http://www.onyxmindbody.com/), Poe Yoga (http://www.poeyoga.com/), and Inner Fire Hot Yoga (http://www.innerfirehotyoga.com/). Also find her on twitter @yogalody and checkout her blog, http://yuladysblog.blogspot.com/.
How many kids do you have?
Rebekah: I have 4 kids, Winona – 14, Calvin – 12, Jack – 8, and Summer – 10 months.
Lindsay: I have 5 biological kids (2 sets of twins) + a teenage step-daughter = 6 total. Ages 16, 5, 2, 2, 6 months, & 6 months
Yulady: My husband and I have 6 children between us. Three of our own and I have 3 step children from my husband’s first marriage.
How do you find time for yourself in your busy life and how do you show yourself some love? Share some tips for busy moms.
Rebekah: The only way for me to truly find time for myself is to leave the house. My online followers have watched videos of me hiding in my bathroom because there wasn’t another place I could go to get privacy (and even then there were kids knocking on the door). My favorite “relaxation” spot is the gym or the yoga studio. Yes, I’m working up a sweat, but I’m also working out frustrations, doing something great for my health, and taking time for something that’s all about me. No matter how guilty she may feel at first, it is absolutely crucial for a mom to take time for herself. It’s just as important for kids to see parents loving themselves as it is to see them loving each other.
Lindsay: The only time I get for myself is the 90 minute bikram yoga class near my house. I try to go 3 times a week and it helps tremendously. I also have a few minutes every morning in the shower. I love my morning shower. It helps me to center myself before the chaos of my life begins. On the days I don’t have time to shower I tend to feel more out of control and lose my patience easily. My advice would be to always take those few minutes each day to check in with yourself.
Yulady: The only way I am able to find time for myself is to get up super early. I show myself love in this regard through meditation and exercise. Early to bed and early to rise is the only chance at some “me time. ” For busy Mom’s I suggest getting the proper amount of rest if you can and carve out “me time” early, because if you don’t do it early you tend to not to do it all.
How did having kids effected your relationship with your partner?
Rebekah: My husband and I are unique because we both work from home and don’t have the added stress of a commute or the inconvenience of not being available for every kid issue that may arise. All chores and tasks are pretty evenly spread out between us, so there’s never any resentment that one person is doing more than the other. I think that the responsibilities of taking care of kids can take a toll on a relationship, but we haven’t experienced that. And I love seeing my husband as a father. It’s only made my love for him deeper and stronger.
Lindsay: Having kids has made my relationship with my husband much stronger. When you have two sets of twins you have no choice but to help one another. We rely on each other for every aspect of our lives. Kids can make or break a couple. We are a good team. The new twin boys have made it hard for us to date and spend any quality alone time together. I’m looking forward to our date nights.
Yulady: Having children together brought my husband and I closer. The joy of raising our kids gives us so much pleasure and happiness which only enhanced our relationship.
How did your understanding of a man/woman relationship and sex changed after you had kids?
Rebekah: How has sex changed since we had a baby? Well, it kind of stopped… for a while, at least. Thank goodness my husband is supportive and understanding, because my hormones were a mess after having my fourth baby. We also practice co-sleeping, so when sex did happen again, we had to be creative about where and when to make it happen. Open, honest dialogue is so important when it comes to having a healthy sex life. Foreplay truly does start outside the bedroom. At this point in my life, there’s nothing sexier than my husband waking up before me and getting the kids off to school on his own. That scores major sexy time for that night.
Lindsay: My understanding of a relationship and sex changed quite a bit after kids. I have become a little scared of sex after having two sets of twins. We had no idea that I had the ability to hyper-ovulate and if my husband just looks at me I get pregnant. Having 5 kids 5 and under is work. My husband has never been more attractive to me than he is now as an amazing father. I’ve learned that a real relationship is based on a true partnership and union that is only just complemented with sex.
Yulady: My understanding of a man/woman relationship and sex was unaffected by the birth of our children. This is a second marriage for both of my husband and I so we both knew how to handle our sex life with having children.
What do you do to keep your relationship sexy and feisty?
Rebekah: No matter what, we have to remind ourselves that we are the reason that this family is here. If we don’t maintain our relationship, everything else will fall apart. We don’t always have time for sex, but there’s always time for intimacy. He tells me I’m beautiful at least seventeen times everyday. I remind him of how sexy I think he is when he fixes something (you know, man-ego stuff). We’re constantly snuggling up on the couch while we work or kissing each other as we pass in the hallway. He makes me feel sexy all the time, even when I’m in a ponytail and pajamas with no makeup. I know that may not seem so exciting to some, but I feel sexiest and most confident when I feel my man loves me.
Lindsay: These days I’m so tired that I tend to fall asleep most nights. Initiating intimacy goes a long way. Just little reminders that you still have the hots for one another works wonders. Sexy text messages for no reason seem to go over well with my husband too.
Yulady: We keep our relationship sexy and feisty by communicating our needs to each other. Both of us are very vocal about our sexual needs and wants. We are not mind readers and find that blatant open and honest communication is the best way to satisfy each other. I also think that when we want to have sex sneaking around the house trying to avoid the children is quite fun.
What was the sexiest romantic thing you’ve done with your partner after having kids?
Rebekah: We’ve been so busy with work and traveling and the new baby, so keeping up with romance has been a challenge. My older kids are from a previous marriage, so we do get a night every week just for ourselves (and baby). We’ve made it a new habit to do exactly what we used to do when we first starting dating – order takeout, find a silly movie, grab some wine and cuddle up on the couch. It’s so simple, but it’s a reminder of the days when we were all about falling in love. Before baby, we always made it a point to take little getaways alone. Sometimes we would fly to an island for a week, sometimes we would just spend a night at a local bed & breakfast. Even a day hike in the mountains while the kids are at school can be incredibly romantic. Just make sure that you’re spending time alone without the distraction of home and kids. Turn off the phones, look at each other and take the time to just talk about silly stuff. What’s more romantic than that?
Lindsay: Sadly it’s been quite awhile since we have done anything crazy romantic for one another. Our lives are focused primarily on our children. Romance in our daily lives are the little things like making the morning coffee for one another or my husband letting me sleep in to 8am on the weekends. I know he loves me and we will have more romance when we aren’t so busy wiping poopy butts and juggling babies. I think what keeps us going is knowing that we will have more time for one another sooner than we think.
Yulady: The sexiest and most romantic thing we have done after having kids is having sex in our car in public places! Every once in awhile even when the kids are asleep and the bed is available we sneak out to the car and…you do the math.
Image courtesy flickr.com/photos/calamity.
Nadya Andreeva (14 Posts)
Nadya Andreeva is a yoga instructor and ayurveda enthusiast who grew up in Russia in a family of doctors. Nadya grew up practicing yoga and learning about different healing approaches in Russia, India, and later all over the US. Trained in yoga therapy and ayurveda Nadya works to create a wholesome path to wellness through yoga classes, personal wellness coaching, and nutrition workshops. Her articles on yoga and nutrition are featured on MindBodyGreen, Modern Hippie Mag, Crazy Sexy Life and YogaCity NYC. She holds an MA in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from New York University and hopes to eventually bring her holistic approach to wellness into the corporate world. Follow Nadya’s blog Spinach and Yoga and twitter @realyoganyc to receive fun wellness tips.